Birthday!!

Well it's my birthday today!! I'm 27 and suddenly feel so old (I know, I know - 27 isn't old), it's just that compared to 26, it feels much closer to 30!! I've noticed lately that my life has changed so much. Most of my friends have had babies and my social life seems to have taken a plummet! I used to be a real party girl, going out loads and socialising with my friends. It seems lately that I've lost that and it makes me sad. My boyfriend (who's 35) goes out more than me now and to be honest, that gets on my nerves. When I first met him, I was out about two times a week plus going Salsa dancing but now I only seem to go salsa dancing once a week and that's it. I've found myself blaming my weight for the change in my situation, when I met my boyfriend, a year and a half ago, I was a size 12 (having been on some starvation diet or other) and anyway, as always happens, I put weight back on and now I'm a size 16. I spend a lot of time wondering if it matters to him, of course, he denies it if I ask him and never makes negative comments, yet, I don't feel that he swoons after me anymore either. I've started reading 'Body Confidence', which so far is great - I love her ideas and the way she comes across. I truly believe that people who feel they are beautiful look more beautiful, their confidence shines through (regardless of their body size) and I know that when I am having a confident day, I look great. It's just sometimes it's hard to feel that way when you feel anything but!!

Not sure what I'm doing tonight, I'm hoping my boyfriend has organised to take me out or something, it was his birthday on Monday and I took him to watch 'The Producers' starring Peter Kay at the theatre and then for a meal. To be honest, organising things isn't his forte but my fingers are firmly crossed.

Eating wise, I'm not eating intuitively right now, but I feel that there is probably a good reason for this and I'm going to ride it out until we move house (in approximately 1 month). The good news is that I am not binging too often and I'm managing pretty well at not beating myself up about it when I do. Still really looking forward to the Beyond Chocolate Workshop next weekend in London (but not the drive down there - LOL) xx