Jogging

I went jogging yesterday with my boyfriend. We'd talked about going for a couple of weeks and never got round to it. I was nervous about going because I haven't exercised much for months and my boyfriend has a manual job so he is pretty fit. Anyway, we went and I really enjoyed it. I jogged until I was out of breath, walked until I got my breath back and then jogged again. My boyfriend walked when I walked (I think he was glad of the rest too - ha ha). I enjoyed it more than I have ever enjoyed jogging before. In the past, I would push myself to run for a set period of time and completely exhaust myself - resulting in me aching like crazy for days and not wanting to go again. This way is so much more fun.

We hoping to go again on wednesday evening (as long as my boyfriend doesn't get home too late from work). I'm aching a little bit today, but not too bad. I'm definately looking forward to going again.

Food wise, I'm still not practicing intuative eating completely, but I can recognise that I am making progress. My binges have dramatically decreased and I'm not thinking about food every 5 minutes (it's every 10 minutes instead now). I'm feeling positive about myself too, learning to love myself as I am now and noticing that I am making changes which is great. Plus, I haven't dieted for months which is probably the longest ever since I was 12.

Today I appreciate myself for being optimistic

Tomorrow I will go jogging again

TFI Friday

Check out this website - it show's three feel good film clips. It's cool.

I know I said that I would blog again on wednesday but I didn't - tut tut!! I was busy busy all day at work and too tired to use the internet at home - so that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it - lol!!

I'm trying to work hard on my confidence at the moment and enjoying life right now. I've realised that I completely place my happiness on whether I am slim or not, and that is completely ridiculous. Always thinking 'why should I have fun, I'm too fat!!'. Anyway, I'm sick of feeling that way so I've decided to enjoy life and enjoy being me RIGHT NOW and to be honest I'm feeling pretty damn good.

Yesterday the mechanic phoned (my car has been in for repair for 3.5 months) to tell me that my car is finished and the bill is £3500 (yes that's right £3500 or USA $7000 or Austrailian $8500). My Car is only worth about £4000 - £4500 so it's absolutely ridiculous!! Last update he told me it was going to be about £1500 - which is so much as it is, but £3500 - it's complete craziness!! Anyway I've phoned the Citizen's Advice and perhaps I can argue paying that much (Frankly I haven't got it and have no way of getting that kind of money) and my boyfriend is going to go down and speak to the guy this afternoon. However, I'm not going to let it get to me too much, I'm thinking positively and everything will be ok and get sorted - I'm sure of it!!

The sun is shining in Manchester so I'm a happy bunny and it's BANK HOLIDAY so 3 days off work for me - yey!!

Today I appreciate myself for being positive

Tomorrow I will move my body

I'm Back!!

I've not blogged for a while, not sure why, just haven't seemed to have much time!! I'm good - things seem to be going well in all areas of my life. Today I got my results for my essays - 63% and 68% - I am really really pleased. I can't actually quite believe it because I didn't put much time or effort into either of them. It just shows that if I try harder then I'll get pretty excellent marks!!

I'm concentrating on the aspects of 'the secret' which means that I am feeling so much more positive about everything and I am also noticing that great things are happening to me: -

- I got offered a free weeks holiday to Centre Parks in Cumbria (somebody had pulled out)

- My essay grades were great

- I won £10 on the lottery

- I went out last Saturday night & had 2 different people come up to me & tell me I'm beautiful

Eating wise, I'm not binging as such, however, I am not following the beyond chocolate principles so I am grazing a lot and definately overeating. I'm going to start doing my Multi-media course over again to help me make steps little by little!!

I'm going to Jamaica in November and I keep thinking to myself 'Mmmm 6 months, if I really tried by then I could lose 3.5 stone'. I know, I know - not good - my plan is to have a great acceptance of my body by then and to be finding the BC principles are coming easier (whatever my shape!!)

Anyway I hope everybody is well

Today I appreciate myself for not finishing off the chips I had just because they were there

Tomorrow I will blog again

The Secret

I watched the film 'The Secret' on Tuesday. I had heard a lot about it and really wanted to see the film. Anyway I discovered that I could pay (about £2.50) to watch it online. The website is www.thesecret.tv for anyone interested. Anyway, it was fantastic - I would reccommend it to anyone. It's about the 'law of attraction' and basically how if you stay in a positive state and believe that you will get what you want, then these things will be attracted to you. I think I'm going to buy the DVD so that I can watch it again and again. It's a really 'feel good' film so I know that I'd watch it regularly.

I'm feeling good. I'm going to watch 'Lionel Richie' tonight. I can't wait - the oldies are the best.

Today I appreciate myself for being really positive

Tomorrow I will move my body

Essay done - Hallelujah!!

I'VE FINISHED MY ESSAY - YEY!! It's like a weight off my shoulders - why don't I just do them on time?? Next time, I'll get it done on time~(did I mention that I have two 3000 word essays due in in 8 weeks!!) Anyway enough Uni - I've had enough!!

I've been overeating loads, think I can probably put it down to worrying about my Uni work so hopefully I'll be able to get things together again soon.

Short and sweet today because the weather is too nice to be sat in on the computer - LOL.

Today I appreciate myself for getting my essay in

Tomorrow I will eat when I'm hungry

Overeating

I've been overeating the last couple of days, think it's because of a few reasons: -

- being unsatisfied with how my relationship is at the moment

- worrying about still not doing my essay (yet not making any effort to start)

- feeling insecure about the way I look

Since we've moved house, my boyfriend and I don't seem to be as loving as we were. We spend less time going out, cuddling up or making effort with each other. I keep putting it down to the fact that I've put on weight and that he probably doesn't fancy me. I know that this is silly and that what is much more likely is the fact that we've moved house, have so much to do and are totally stressed and busy with it all.

Sometimes I get frustrated because my relationship isn't wonderful. It's not a bad relationship, it's just not perfect. I've found throughout my life that I expect my relationships to pretty much be without problems. When things aren't as great as I expect them to be, I give up and get out. My current relationship is my longest yet - I usually make it to about the 1 year mark. I wonder if that means that I'll always be searching instead of putting more effort into what I already have. (And I do love my boyfriend very much). I suppose I'm stubborn, I feel - 'Why should I put effort in when he doesn't seem to?'. My boyfriend seems more settled with things, if he is frustrated, he doesn't show it. I think he is happy to just get on with things. I want passion, excitement, deep conversations and strong lust. Settled and getting on with things just isn't me. I've spoken to friends about this previously and they advice me to make an effort etc.. but what I want is to be adored - for him to make an effort with me. Am I being selfish?? I don't know - probably. I want big love - BIG MOVIE LOVE!!

Anyway I've eaten too much - without putting it on a plate or eating it mindfully - HOWEVER, I stopped before it became one of my usual full on binges. I don't feel overlly full (defiantely full but no to the point where it hurts). So this is definately progress. In fact, writing this has made me feel more positive. I love how I am kinder to myself in so many ways since I have started eating intuatively.

Today I appreciate myself for writing my blog when I wanted to curl up in a ball and feel sorry for myself

Tomorrow I will eat exactly what I want and put it on a plate