I've been overeating the last couple of days, think it's because of a few reasons: -
- being unsatisfied with how my relationship is at the moment
- worrying about still not doing my essay (yet not making any effort to start)
- feeling insecure about the way I look
Since we've moved house, my boyfriend and I don't seem to be as loving as we were. We spend less time going out, cuddling up or making effort with each other. I keep putting it down to the fact that I've put on weight and that he probably doesn't fancy me. I know that this is silly and that what is much more likely is the fact that we've moved house, have so much to do and are totally stressed and busy with it all.
Sometimes I get frustrated because my relationship isn't wonderful. It's not a bad relationship, it's just not perfect. I've found throughout my life that I expect my relationships to pretty much be without problems. When things aren't as great as I expect them to be, I give up and get out. My current relationship is my longest yet - I usually make it to about the 1 year mark. I wonder if that means that I'll always be searching instead of putting more effort into what I already have. (And I do love my boyfriend very much). I suppose I'm stubborn, I feel - 'Why should I put effort in when he doesn't seem to?'. My boyfriend seems more settled with things, if he is frustrated, he doesn't show it. I think he is happy to just get on with things. I want passion, excitement, deep conversations and strong lust. Settled and getting on with things just isn't me. I've spoken to friends about this previously and they advice me to make an effort etc.. but what I want is to be adored - for him to make an effort with me. Am I being selfish?? I don't know - probably. I want big love - BIG MOVIE LOVE!!
Anyway I've eaten too much - without putting it on a plate or eating it mindfully - HOWEVER, I stopped before it became one of my usual full on binges. I don't feel overlly full (defiantely full but no to the point where it hurts). So this is definately progress. In fact, writing this has made me feel more positive. I love how I am kinder to myself in so many ways since I have started eating intuatively.
Today I appreciate myself for writing my blog when I wanted to curl up in a ball and feel sorry for myself
Tomorrow I will eat exactly what I want and put it on a plate
- being unsatisfied with how my relationship is at the moment
- worrying about still not doing my essay (yet not making any effort to start)
- feeling insecure about the way I look
Since we've moved house, my boyfriend and I don't seem to be as loving as we were. We spend less time going out, cuddling up or making effort with each other. I keep putting it down to the fact that I've put on weight and that he probably doesn't fancy me. I know that this is silly and that what is much more likely is the fact that we've moved house, have so much to do and are totally stressed and busy with it all.
Sometimes I get frustrated because my relationship isn't wonderful. It's not a bad relationship, it's just not perfect. I've found throughout my life that I expect my relationships to pretty much be without problems. When things aren't as great as I expect them to be, I give up and get out. My current relationship is my longest yet - I usually make it to about the 1 year mark. I wonder if that means that I'll always be searching instead of putting more effort into what I already have. (And I do love my boyfriend very much). I suppose I'm stubborn, I feel - 'Why should I put effort in when he doesn't seem to?'. My boyfriend seems more settled with things, if he is frustrated, he doesn't show it. I think he is happy to just get on with things. I want passion, excitement, deep conversations and strong lust. Settled and getting on with things just isn't me. I've spoken to friends about this previously and they advice me to make an effort etc.. but what I want is to be adored - for him to make an effort with me. Am I being selfish?? I don't know - probably. I want big love - BIG MOVIE LOVE!!
Anyway I've eaten too much - without putting it on a plate or eating it mindfully - HOWEVER, I stopped before it became one of my usual full on binges. I don't feel overlly full (defiantely full but no to the point where it hurts). So this is definately progress. In fact, writing this has made me feel more positive. I love how I am kinder to myself in so many ways since I have started eating intuatively.
Today I appreciate myself for writing my blog when I wanted to curl up in a ball and feel sorry for myself
Tomorrow I will eat exactly what I want and put it on a plate
7 comments:
I'm like you hun, I want fireworks. Once it starts to get routiney then I lose interest. Men seem to be okay without the big movie love, which is so confusing.
Unfortunately putting effort in is the only way to get more out.
There's a chapter in why men love bitches about getting the spark back (or something) so maybe that'll have some tips?
Well done for being kind to yourself, it's really brilliant.
A
xx
I have days like that in my relationship too. I think it is very normal to feel that way
Well, I like to think that DH and I have a wonderful relationship, and while we do, I still have problems with intimacy. I want the spark that we used to have, but my problem is that I hold things inside and have trouble opening up. Even though we talk about things, a LOT, I still hold back because things aren't perfect. Once they are, in my mind, I'll be like an open book, and we'll be like we used to be.
I don't think this is really any way to have a good relationship. I'm working on it, though.
I hope you can talk to him about it. That has helped us most of all. It's especially helped me to realize that I'm not broken, and I can be loved and make relationships work, which I used to think I was incapable of.
(hugs)
ohh i know what you mean about Big Movie Love, the romantic fairytale, the only annoying thing is they only ever show 2.5 hours they never show how life goes on after that.
Isnt it strange how we always want more bigger better, oh that bit of chocolate would be sooo much nicer, but its never ending.
What do we do, how do we fill the void I dont know but i hope that we are all slowly learning.
I have been reading geenen Roth's appetities not sure if i should quote all this but sod it!!!
"if she is fortuante, and if she is truthful, a woman will discover that being thin is just a body size, and she has no idea where to find true nourishment. Once she realises it isnt in body size or success or even in loving relationships, once she slows down enough to stop defending against the emptiness, she can begin to discover what will truly feed her... Although I trusted that direct, consistent experiences of joy were possible, I thought they were reserved for people who were very holy, very wise, or very pure - which excluded me. I was wrong."
xxx
Hi
I've been reading your blog because I've been on the Intuitive Eating path for a long time and feel that I'm finally getting somewhere with it, but still need encouragement every now and again. I feel that it is the only way we can get through this - by being supported, by reading about people's experiences. Knowing that we are not alone, and that we are on the right track, makes a HUGE difference.
Luckily for me, one of my friends had gone that route too - except she didn't even have to read books about it or learn from anybody. She TRULY went the intuitive way, all on her own. Within 6 months, she was sorted, and she's been at her normal, natural weight ever since.
For me, it's been a long long long battle, and any time I compare myself to my friend I think 'I should have this sorted by now! Why is it still sooo hard?!?' I know now that there is no point in being jealous and in trying to hurry up the process...
I first came across Intuitive Eating (and oh how funny that you and other people abbreviate it just as I do - IE!!) in 1999. You see, that's a loooonnng time ago! It's only last April, though, that I truly truly truly started doing it properly, 'no matter what' (before, I had tried, but always held back somewhat because I didn't want to put any weight back on).
Anyway. About your post 'Overeating': I've been married for 10 months now, and have been with my now husband for nearly 4 years. Every now and again, I still feel that I want the Big Movie Love, but it's all an illusion anyway. I think we need to step back and realise that men, no more than food, no more than friends, drugs or alcohol, can fill us and make our lives perfect. Our lives simply can't be perfect. And that includes our bodies too! The day I realised and accepted that, everything fell into place and I felt liberated, free. If we concentrate instead on the little things that make Life (whether we like it or not...), we can find true joy in those, and that's something that doesn't go away, because the little things are always there, if we can only become aware of them.
Hope that makes sense.
Lotus Flower
Hi Everyone,
Your messages really resonate with me,thank you for sharing them.
Moonflower
Good evening
Awesome blog, great write up, thank you!
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