Not blogged for a while because I've been busy decorating the house and at work etc.
I've started to go swimming with my friend in my lunch hour at work, and we've been doing 60 lengths (25 metres each) - it's been a killer but I definitely feel better for doing it. I'm trying to go about 3 times a week (been 4 times so far in the last week and half). It's good to see my friend so often and also she's been going for a while so it's easier for her - so this encourages me to push harder. The thing I like about swimming is that I don't get hot and sweaty so it doesn't feel as difficult.
Couldn't go swimming today because I'm off work and having my nails done, so I've just done an hour on my exercise bike (while watching a chat show!!). I've started to feel fitter already from increasing my exercise.
The only problem is, I've binged quite a lot over the last week. What's good though, I haven't had the 'all or nothing' approach. Usually when I binge, I don't want to exercise because I think 'What's the point? I've blown it' but I've been thinking, I want to be fitter whether or not I'm overeating.
I have to be honest, I've been trying to control what I eat a bit, i.e. trying not to eat so much junk food and therefore binging. The thing is intuitive eating hasn't been working for me either, having so much chocolate and crisps in the house is meaning that I'm eating them all the time and I have put on a LOT of weight. If I'm honest with myself, I'm not following the IE principles properly, I suppose I find it hard. The truth is I eat too much un-nutritional food - and it's effecting my health, i.e. I'm tired all the time, grumpy etc.... I like fruit and vegetables so it's not like it's hard for me to eat them, it's just that I always choose the high fat, high calorie food over them every time. I know that IE is the best way to deal with food, it's just hard. I don't want to sound like I'm whinging - 'it's hard, it's hard' . I suppose, I'm just waiting for it to click, and deep down I know it doesn't work like that. If I want something to work, I have to put effort in - and if I'm honest, I'm just not making enough effort. Any advice would be greatly appreciated right now, I really want to be able to eat intuitively and to stop obsessing with food!!
On the positive side, my boyfriends car went into the garage because the 'reverse had broken' - he's got a BMW with computerised gears, so we'd been expecting it to be really expensive. But I used the secret principles to ask and expect that it wouldn't cost much. He's just had a phone call and it's only going to be £70!! I'm so happy.
We're going to Cumbria for the weekend, I can't wait, it will be so nice to relax for a few days and enjoy each others company.
Today I appreciate myself for being honest and asking for help
Tomorrow I will start to read one of my books on IE to refresh the principles
I've started to go swimming with my friend in my lunch hour at work, and we've been doing 60 lengths (25 metres each) - it's been a killer but I definitely feel better for doing it. I'm trying to go about 3 times a week (been 4 times so far in the last week and half). It's good to see my friend so often and also she's been going for a while so it's easier for her - so this encourages me to push harder. The thing I like about swimming is that I don't get hot and sweaty so it doesn't feel as difficult.
Couldn't go swimming today because I'm off work and having my nails done, so I've just done an hour on my exercise bike (while watching a chat show!!). I've started to feel fitter already from increasing my exercise.
The only problem is, I've binged quite a lot over the last week. What's good though, I haven't had the 'all or nothing' approach. Usually when I binge, I don't want to exercise because I think 'What's the point? I've blown it' but I've been thinking, I want to be fitter whether or not I'm overeating.
I have to be honest, I've been trying to control what I eat a bit, i.e. trying not to eat so much junk food and therefore binging. The thing is intuitive eating hasn't been working for me either, having so much chocolate and crisps in the house is meaning that I'm eating them all the time and I have put on a LOT of weight. If I'm honest with myself, I'm not following the IE principles properly, I suppose I find it hard. The truth is I eat too much un-nutritional food - and it's effecting my health, i.e. I'm tired all the time, grumpy etc.... I like fruit and vegetables so it's not like it's hard for me to eat them, it's just that I always choose the high fat, high calorie food over them every time. I know that IE is the best way to deal with food, it's just hard. I don't want to sound like I'm whinging - 'it's hard, it's hard' . I suppose, I'm just waiting for it to click, and deep down I know it doesn't work like that. If I want something to work, I have to put effort in - and if I'm honest, I'm just not making enough effort. Any advice would be greatly appreciated right now, I really want to be able to eat intuitively and to stop obsessing with food!!
On the positive side, my boyfriends car went into the garage because the 'reverse had broken' - he's got a BMW with computerised gears, so we'd been expecting it to be really expensive. But I used the secret principles to ask and expect that it wouldn't cost much. He's just had a phone call and it's only going to be £70!! I'm so happy.
We're going to Cumbria for the weekend, I can't wait, it will be so nice to relax for a few days and enjoy each others company.
Today I appreciate myself for being honest and asking for help
Tomorrow I will start to read one of my books on IE to refresh the principles
6 comments:
Just a thought and this is just what I have found; I am by no means discouraging you to not exercise. When I first started up regular exercise after restarting IE, I started allowing myself to think of the exercise as a way to lose weight. I actually had to give my head a shake and take a few days off to realize how much the exercise was for personal benefit not diet benefit. When I allowed myself to look at it as something that would help in weight loss I rebelled with my eating. Not to the extremes that I had before but still enough for me to realize that something was up. I need to take great care to not let normal things slip into diet thinking - if I allow any diet thinking I find myself rebelling and sabotaging myself.
Not sure if this ramble is any help but it is what I discovered with myself.
I totally agree with lmm. About 18 months ago, I did exactly the same thing, going to the gym three times a week, no matter what, and it quickly became as obsessive as being on a diet. And when you obsess about exercise, you obsess about food. They go hand in hand.
Strangely enough, just before I checked your blog, I wrote a post about this (when we realise that [it seems that] IE doesn't necessarily work for us). That is the first step to a better approach, the one that works for YOU. So congratulations! I think you have made huge progress just by realising all you talk about in this post (you don't feel good, you eat too much, you put on too much weight): it means you want to treat yourself better. IE has done what it is supposed to be doing: put you back in touch with who you are and make you realise how you really want to treat yourself (you don’t want to deprive yourself of food by dieting, you deserve a normal life, just like everybody else, but now you also don’t want to keep eating like that because it doesn’t make you feel good, and you WANT to feel good).
Exercise is good, but try to go just because you FEEL that you NEED it (wait for your body to tell you – it WILL!), rather than just because your friend is going and you have promised yourself/ves not to miss a single day of swimming, rather than just because you ‘have to’. The day you exercise only because you feel like it, because your body is CRAVING it, is the day you relax into the exercise and REALLY enjoy it. And do I need to say that when we enjoy something, we do it more naturally and without obsessing about it? I remember that the day I decided to listen to my body, which was tired but still needed some fresh air, and went for a gentle stroll in the park rather than an hour at the gym like I thought I was supposed to and had to, I felt SO much better for it! It was the day I changed my approach to exercise completely and it definitely helped me. Be gentle with yourself when it comes to exercise, just like for everything else. The more you exercise, the more hungry you’ll get, the more ‘uncontrollable’ you’ll feel, the more you’ll eat because you’ll feel guilty. So just go for a little walk when your body tells you to and feel the difference. Keep us posted!
Well done with your exercise! It's really fab that you're doing it despite having binges- you're not letting them rule you.
This is just from my experience, so it might not be helpful at all:
I don't really have crisps and snacky things around, because I know I'll binge on them. Chocolate isn't such a big deal for me anymore, although I have some every few days.
I don't feel particularly deprived, because I allow myself other yummy things (cheesecake, tiramisu, lattes).
And I do direct my food choices to an extent. I know that if I'm doing exercise I have to eat some protein to help my muscles repair. I might like to eat coco pops for breakfast but I know they'll only last me an hour, so I choose something with more longevity.
I don't know how you feel about junk food, but I'm quite conscious of artificial things and additives in them, and trying to avoid them helps me steer mostly clear of junk.
I think we all have troughs and peaks with IE. I have weeks where I consistently overeat, but mostly the feeling and guilt (I know I shouldn't feel guilty, but I do) puts me off, and the control freak in me gets such satisfaction from stopping at the point where I've had enough.
You've come a long way from where you were, even though it might not always look like it. This journey is on so many levels that sometimes one (such as exercise) will go forward a few steps while one goes back.
Maybe there's a way you could combine the nutritious food with decadent eating? The carrots in butter theory?
I've got my fingers crossed for you babe
A
xx
Having said that however...
I've noticed a few of us are looking around for alternatives to BC/IE recently (case in point, me and the extremely brief diet) so maybe shaking things up a bit and experimenting with having some rules might help?
They don't have to be forever, but maybe it would be interesting to see what would happen if you didn't have so many crisps around for example. Would you go without them? Would you go out and buy them when you wanted them? Would you binge from depravation?
I hope you've had a lovely weekend
A
xx
how bout taking a step back and realise how far you have come you are noticing a link between bingeing and exercising. hope your reading is going well, i read the first bit of beyond chocolate the other night and was quite suprised as i remembered all the reasons why i started this in the first place.
hope u had a lush weekend in cumbria
xxx
I don't think you need advice - you already have the answer. IE doesn't work if you don't do it properly - and by that I mean restricting junk food. Restricting "naughty foods" is a diet, not IE.
I find re-reading my Beyond Chocolate book really helps, especially because the book talks to you in such a calm way, you can't hate yourself when someone is encouraging you to be kind the way Sophie & Audrey do.
It is very hard though, especially when we are fearful of gaining even more weight. I think I am a similar size to you, but slightly bigger and it is really scary. But I tell myself that it is better to be bigger now and slim for the rest of my life than being slimmer now but yo-yoing forever.
Keep strong :O)
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