I had a really shitty birthday. Well that's unfair, I went to see my friends new baby, which I really enjoyed, she is lovely. But when I got home (about 6.45pm), my boyfriend was in the bath and shouted out to me, "Where have you been, I wanted to take you for a meal tonight?", he then asked if I'd phone up 'Le Petit Blanc' and book it. So I did, anyway, when he got out of the bath, I asked him where my card was and HE HADN'T GOT ME ONE!!!! No card, no present and he couldn't even be arsed booking the restaurant himself!!! I told him to stick the meal up his arse (bit my nose off to spite my face a little bit there). I can't believe he didn't even get me a card!! We're supposed to be signing the papers next week to buy a house together, and I am seriously considering whether this is a good idea. I feel so let down and insignificant to him. He is all apologetic now, with excuses galore (not one of them valid!!), the thing is, we have only been together 18 months, so what is it going to be like in 5 years??
I've told him how I'm feeling and that I need to think things through, but my head is in a spin completely. The thing his, he has let me down before, he's always sorry and I always forgive him but then he does it again. If I keep forgiving him, he will keep letting me down (expecting me to forgive him). I'm completely lost what to do, part of me wonders if I should cut my losses and walk away before I commit to buying the house, yet, another part of me loves him to bits and doesn't want to be without him. I feel so confused at the moment. My eating is all over the place, I either can't eat a thing or I am binging like mad - but to be honest, that's not worrying me at the moment.
3 comments:
I think the fact that your looking at things so rationally is a great sign...if you feel this disappointed after 18 months - picture yourself in 5 years. I truly hope you make the right decision..only you know what one that is.
thinking of you
For some reason I can't seem to publish my comment, so I'll try again.
I would highly recommend reading the Five Love Languages. It helped me realize that we show our love in different ways, but if it isn't the way the other person recognizes love, it doesn't come across as loving. It has really helped me and my hubby.
I know this post is old, but I thought I would comment anyway. I think the Five Love Languages book is fantastic, but I also love Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. It's almost a cliche now, but it is a fabulous book, it's almost like a dictionary for the opposite sex.
Good luck :O)
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