My boyfriends mobile went off last night when he was in the shower and I looked at it, anyway, it was a text from his colleague, but I noticed he had a few texts from his daughters Mum and I looked at them (have never done this before but found myself curious!!). Anyway, she asked him for sex. I looked at his replies and he gently rebuffed her but I was so PISSED OFF!! They haven't been together for 11 years (his daughter is 13) and she knows that we are living together and buying a house. I've met her and to be honest was never jealous of their relationship but now I feel so pissed off!! I told him that I'd read the texts and he said that she does this now and again, like every 6 months - and he knows how to handle it. I was pissed off with him too though, it's inappropriate and he should tell her firmly that he doesn't want her sending messages like that. Anyway, we argued and he's said that he'll speak to her today about it! I've been quite aware that she'd get back with him if she could but to ask him for sex, it's ridiculous!! She sent one text saying that he's the only man that ever did it for her!! She needs to move on and find herself a new boyfriend. - like get over it - it's been 11 years!! I would never embarrass myself like that, but hey, I suppose I'm different.
Anyhow, this has made me feel more and more insecure, she's very slim and I suddenly thought what if he does want someone slimmer (when he met me I was a size 12 and he was obviously attracted to me then). Because I've put so much weight on, I feel like a blob and unattractive to him. (he's a good looking guy with a great body). At the moment. we're not having much sex. When we've talked about it, he says that it's probably to do with the stress of moving house but it's definately effecting my self esteem. I just don't feel sexy anymore!! Neither of us is initiating sex (well never me - it's not that I don't want it, it's just that I don't feel like he'd want me). It's crazy really because I know he loves me and we are very tactile - cuddling and kissing all the time - it's just the bloody sex thing. And now these texts from his Ex - I just feel 10 times worse.
I wish I could just accept myself like this, there are plenty of beautiful women my size who feel sexy and look great. I just can't seem to get my head round being positive with myself. Any tips would be greatly appreciated xx
4 comments:
Firstly it says an awful lot that he's prepared to have words with this silly bitch about the texts. He obviously cares a lot more about your feelings than he does about hers.
He's had 11 years of chances to get back with her and he hasn't.
I think your first step is to feel sexy. I'll say the rest in an email!
OMG that is disgusting that she is doing that!
I can so relate to your insecure feelings at the moment though, I have been feeling the same lately as we are not having as much sex either. My husband is looking really hot after losing lots of weight and I know there are educated slim women who work with him.
I notice you didn't list anything positive for today so let me help....
ONE POSITIVE THING FOR TODAY: My boyfriend obviously loves me for who I am because he had a chance to have sex with someone slimmer (the horrible ex) and he turned her down.
Hear, hear to Leesha's positive comment. He obviously loves you and really she sounds someone to be pitied!
Sexwise, we can be a bit like that too. Can you perhaps just make an obvious effort. Make dinner with candles or go out to eat and then, when you're both relaxed you might be more 'in the mood?'
Or initiate it first thing in the morning when men are 'naturally' interested shall we say!
I think I'm going to copy this idea, it's good to have a list of positive things you've done for yourself.
have you spoke to you boyfriend about your insecurities? i was quite drunk the other week and said to my boyfriend that i was putting on all this weight and he suprised me by saying he would love me if i were 20 stone it has reassured me alot.
the sex tends to die down in every relationship after a while regardless of weight, i second alice on making yourslef feel sexy and most of all enjoy yourself xxx
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